In the family of close friends scandal erupted. The senior family members put the son and grandson of Bairam in front of the fact that the bride was chosen as soon as possible and the subsequent matchmaking, to which the boy declared to everyone that he already has the girl he is ready to marry and that moreover, she is pregnant!
To tell the truth, the scandal looked more like a cheap theater and was intended for neighbors, distant relatives and other curious people. In fact, the family had long known that their son has a girlfriend, with whom he spends a lot of time and sometimes even spends the night with her. They knew, but they pretended that they were supposedly neither dreaming nor in spirit, until, finally, someone from the "well-wishers" did not inform the family that the girl seemed to be in an interesting position ... And then everyone was alarmed and started fussing with device immediate marriage.
The question that Bayram’s girlfriend, who was waiting for his heir, could not enter their house as a daughter-in-law, was not even put up for discussion. The reason for the cruel categorization of the older family members was not that the applicant for the role of the wife of their son and grandson was the maiden of not too strict rules. It was a different matter: Bayram's girlfriend is not a Turkmen by nationality, and this, I'm sorry, now rules out the possibility of joining the family. And this is despite the fact that the elder of the clan is the grandmother of a boy who lives in the family of his eldest son and his Russian wife, whom he loves and respects much more than the rest of his daughter-in-law! However, for a grandson, a grandmother cannot allow a wife of another nationality ...
In Turkmenistan over the past decade and a half, there has been a tendency to marry sons and marry daughters exclusively for representatives of their nationality. And a lot of reasons for this. Among the objective ones is, first of all, the departure from the country of Russians, Tatars and other Russian-speaking citizens, with whom inter-ethnic marriages could have been concluded and concluded until the early 1990s. Today, if they are, they are, as a rule, outside of Turkmenistan. For example, a Turkmen goes to study or work in Russia, falls in love with a Russian girl and creates a family with her. However, such examples, and in considerable quantities, have been in the past decades, when the guy brought the bride from the army or from the place of study. Now, as a rule, it is the young man who remains in Russia, arranging his life far from his home, he does not bring his family back to his homeland.
The subjective reasons for the conclusion of national marriages should be attributed to the fact that the entire rite of marriage or marriage, from matchmaking to the wedding itself, takes place exclusively in accordance with the old Turkmen traditions and rites. What was declared a relic of the past in Soviet times has returned and firmly taken its place in Turkmen society. This, above all, feces. The size of the kalym is secretly established and varies depending on the region, as well as on whether both parties will be able to bargain among themselves. In connection with the latter and for a number of other reasons, closely related marriages have become more frequent when it is easier to come to an agreement with relatives, since both parties know each other’s wealth and can give up in price.
Naturally, in the holy of holies of old traditions and rites do not want to let strangers, that is, representatives of other nationalities. Even close nations, such as Turkmen and Uzbeks or Turkmen and Kazakhs, whose customs are in many ways similar, do not want to be related to each other.
One of the reasons for not creating inter-ethnic marriages is the example of international families created fifteen, twenty or more years ago. As a rule, husbands whose wives are not of Turkmen nationality are not promoted along the career ladder, and children from such families have no access to prestigious faculties of prestigious higher educational institutions. Young people from mixed families cannot enter the militarized institutions due to the fact that they are Turkmen only for one of the parents. Even if a young man or a girl has a nationality of “Turkmen”, “Turkmen” and full name Turkmen in his passport, this person is still not considered to be a pure-blooded Turkmen. All this is well known in society, and this is the strongest argument for creating a family between people of their nationality.
There are also frequent cases when a boy marries a Turkmen girl in favor of his parents and numerous relatives, and is in another family with his heart and soul. And in both families, children can be born and grow up, but only legitimate children are considered to be their own, and those that are attached to another woman are not recognized at all. Such a duality of the situation entirely falls on the shoulders of a young man who is forced to maintain two families, but this is probably the only possible option to maintain relations with his beloved woman of another nationality.
In general, the modern Turkmen society, despite the seeming return to the age-old national customs and traditions, is notable for its cunning, and, to put it harshly, it has become two-faced - we say one thing and do the exact opposite. To this in no small measure contributed to the universal rukhnamizatsiya population. It was the late Saparmurat Niyazov who imposed on the people, from children to old people, his own opus of Ruhnama, replacing them even with the Koran. He verbally called on compatriots to high spirit and spirituality, but in fact, with his own actions and the actions of his closest associates, he vividly demonstrated what this high spirit really is ... And simple people whose education and culture are now limited to only one book - Ruhnama, quickly took everything as a guide to action.
No one ever believed in the sincerity of a pardoned criminal who swore on the “holy Rukhnama” to never steal again and not do evil deeds. Schoolchildren never lived in accordance with the regulations of the spiritual code, which they studied every day, even if someone managed to memorize all 400 pages of the book. Read the Ruhnama and do everything the other way round - this is the tacit rule for the Turkmenbashi society. However, he lives now. So why in everyday life, in the family, in the relations of the sexes should be different? The life model is applicable to any side of life, and in the family and household sphere it manifests itself first and foremost.
Even about 6-8 years ago, on the periphery, a girl walking in tight jeans or summer shorts could be insulted, carried out by a hoot or even dropped a stone. But life is changing, the borders of the state, despite the fact that Turkmenbashi tried to keep them in the barn castle, nevertheless, open up, and European, Russian fashion reaches the Turkmen heartland. Today it is not surprising to see girls in comfortable and practical jeans, summer bermudas, short T-shirts on straps. But among those you will not meet Turkmen women who are going to get married, according to national traditions. And for a typical Turkmen family, such a girl is not suitable for brides. “Russian”, they talk about it, even if Turkmen or Uzbek blood flows in it. In order to find a husband and start a family, such a girl needs to leave the country, and here, at home, only the humiliating fate of someone’s second wife is waiting for her.
... And in a family of friends, the matter goes to the wedding. A suitable bride for Bayram was found in the family village of his father. The guy did not see his future wife and does not intend to meet with her before the wedding, and why, if he doesn’t care who his parents found for him, he loves the one who soon, in more than 3 months, will give birth to his son. The main thing is that traditions are observed, relatives are satisfied, and life goes on as usual.
Until the next Ruhnama? Or whatever it will be called ...
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Sevare is 14 years old, her parents are divorced. “When mom left dad, I was about two years old. My mother's relatives looked at me with pity. They patted me on the head and said: "Poor girl." I did not understand their reaction. ” The girl rarely communicates with her father, mainly by telephone. “Dad is engaged in business,” says the girl. “In Osh, I issued one of my optics in my name, we even had three notaries, documents signed.” Now the optics are rented by a businessman from China with the Russified name Kohl. In the first days of each month, the girl goes to the optics and she receives $ 28. “In general, Kohl pays $ 57 per month for rent. Of these, 28 dollars is my share. ” “Now, in matters of divorce, economic benefits come to the fore,” says a lawyer with many years of experience, Zuura Abdurakhmanov. “This comes from a lack of material resources. Women need to feed, shoe, dress the child, and there is little money. ” It is not always possible to solve post-divorce problems peacefully. There are men who do not pay child support for their children. The bailiff, who did not wish to give his name, gave the following calculation: “The debtors are divided into the following categories: 50% of men pay alimony voluntarily, they only have to explain their rights and obligations; 20% of men cannot pay alimony for financial reasons; 20% of men do not pay - “a matter of principle”, they are in bad relations with their former wives, for them this is a good reason to “take revenge on the former”; 10% of men are on earnings in other cities and countries. "
Inga (name changed) alone brings up two sons. “On the day when my husband filed for divorce, I filed for alimony,” says a young woman. Officially confirmed income of the ex-husband was 48 dollars. Inga knew about the true incomes of her ex-husband. “He’s a minibus driver. I went to the tax office, took a certificate of his income. I also took a certificate about the consumer basket for children. ” The court has appointed an amount. Inga was not agree and again went to court. Endless courts dragged on for months. The former husband filed a counter-claim to reduce the amount of alimony. “The court granted his claim. The amount has been reduced. Alimony was 8 courts. My lawyer told me that this was the first time in his practice. Lately, almost every month, two lawsuits fell on me. After the fourth trial, my mom had a stroke. She died". Inga silently turns away. Parents of the former spouse paid $ 14 for the maintenance of grandchildren. Inga herself works, but she still doesn’t have enough money. Then she deprived of the parental rights of her ex-husband. “So that in the future, when his sons grow up, he will not sue alimony, in his own favor.”
After a divorce, women try to get as much as possible the amount of child support. Men tend to reduce the amount of money given away. Talipbek Nuraliev, head of the Southern Directorate of the Osh office of the Ombudsman of the Kyrgyz Republic, says that last year they examined 4 cases of divorces. Many women are not yet ready to defend their rights in the courts.
“A normal man will never give up his own children,” said lawyer Abdurakhmanova. “Another question is whether he will be able to pay the amount that the court will assign to him. After all, it is in court that the amount of alimony is charged. Where these figures come from is not clear. Men would be happy to work, but where? How can he pay child support? Therefore, alimony must be real. " Azizbek Adinaev, the bailiff of the Osh Regional Court, shows the writ of execution. “Alimony is exacted from actual income. If a man has a job, he will provide a certificate of employment to establish the amount of alimony. If the debtor does not work anywhere, and there are now the majority, the alimony is collected from the average monthly salary. ”
The leading specialist of the department of social statistics and demography of the Osh city statistics department, Nafisa Shermatova, explained: “Every month we compile a current report on the 1T form - a labor report, on the basis of which a single wage is taken, regardless of industry. And so, on the basis of the form 1T, a certificate is issued, and for the period that is necessary for the person who has addressed us. For example, for the month of July 2007, the average monthly salary in the city was $ 103. To issue a certificate for the industry in which the man works is wrong. In the financial industry, this amount is significant, about $ 371. For example, the average monthly salary in agriculture is low. About 40-42 dollars. If from 28 dollars to pay alimony, it turns out about eight and a half dollars a month, it is not enough. What is enough when one kilogram of flour costs 1 dollar! ”
For inquiries to the Department of Statistics of Osh women turn. “In the month of 2-4 women. They want to know how much alimony they can count on. Men come less often. They are eager to find out if the amount of alimony has been correctly accrued to them. ”
Men are less trusting in the activities of the bailiffs. For divorced women, the bailiff on the contrary - the hope to improve the financial situation. “Well, the former does not give money for a child,” Gulbahor resents. “How many times after a divorce, I tried to talk to him. Then I went to court. The case was engaged sundog. At least I started getting some money. ” If a man refuses to voluntarily pay alimony, then enforcement officers are forced to collect them under compulsion. “According to Article 162 of the Criminal Code of the Kyrgyz Republic, in case of evasion from paying alimony, the debtors are criminally liable. We meet with debtors, talk. They are not attracted by the prospect of spending up to two years behind bars. After that, the majority (90%) of debtors agree to pay alimony. ”
Recently, lawyers are increasingly fixing cases where men tend to keep their children. Jenishbek Toroev, director of the Association for Human Rights Advocacy Center, says: “If women are interested in the material side of a divorce, then men are concerned about the issue of children. Who will they stay with? Is it possible to keep them? ”The man does not believe that the money that a woman demands from him through the court will be spent exactly on the child. Lawyer Zuura Abdurakhmanova agrees: “I rarely observe when a woman spends alimony for children. First of all, she spends that money on herself. ”
Osh is an eastern city. And here, according to custom, many marriages are not registered in the registry office, preferring the religious consecration of marriage. Mukhaye Abduraupova considered: “In a month more than 30 people turn to us. More than half are women. The range of questions - “left my husband, mother-in-law, what to do?”, “No registration, children in my family name, how to file for alimony?”, Etc. This is especially common among women of Uzbek nationality. Many girls, getting married, do not register their marriage officially. According to them, they are embarrassed to ask the husband to legitimize the relationship. They are satisfied with such a life. Nobody thinks about the consequences. Then children are born. Women write them on their names. When a divorce arises the question of the payment of alimony, but you must first establish paternity. This case is in court. Such women can not claim the property of her husband. More often this situation. Marriage without registration. The sister-in-law lives in the house of her husband's parents. The mother-in-law prepares his daughter-in-law as a single mother raising a child. The bride receives child support. Then the young are divorced. A woman leaves with nothing. ”
Read, interesting. Only I do not agree with some parts. For example, who is Inga, did not understand. Why did she suddenly divorced her husband? If a man and a woman have given birth to a child, let him answer for it together. And then the man did the job and ran away. And women are also good, give birth to a bunch and what to do. In short, the desired topic, more such interesting topics.
Dorogaya Sahira Vi napisali ochen aktualnuyu statyu pro brakorasvodniy prosess, mnogie jenshiny ne znayut svoih prav. konechno zakon nashey respubliki grubo govorya ne rabotaet, eto navernoe hpomu shto ekonomika slabaya vot vsyt koreyu tam obyzatelno papy viplachivayut alimenty svoim detym, voobshem statya u vas horoshaya i have to work in a manner of the saints of vytro